Finding Your New Squad: How to Build a Community After Leaving the Service

In the military, community is built-in. You live, work, and train with the same people every day. You share inside jokes, unspoken understanding, and a bond forged through shared hardship and mission. It's a level of camaraderie that is one of the hardest things to leave behind.

When you transition, that built-in squad disappears overnight. The resulting silence and loneliness can be one of the most jarring aspects of civilian life. The good news is that community exists outside the military. You just have to know where and how to look for it.

This isn't about replacing your old squad; it's about building a new one. Here are five actionable strategies to find your people.

1. Go Beyond the Traditional VSO

The VFW and American Legion are historic and vital parts of the veteran community, but they aren't for everyone. The modern veteran landscape is filled with groups built around action, hobbies, and continued service.

• For the Action-Oriented: Check out Team Rubicon. They deploy veterans (and civilians) to respond to natural disasters. It combines your skills with a clear mission and a powerful sense of purpose.
• For the Fitness-Focused: Find a local chapter of Team RWB. They organize everything from weekly running groups to yoga and functional fitness events. It's about improving health and connecting with people in a positive, active environment.
• For the Outdoorsman: Groups like The Mission Continues often have service platoons that work on local environmental and community projects. It's a great way to get outside and work with a team again.

2. Find Your "Third Place"

Sociologists talk about the "third place"—a spot that isn't home (first place) or work (second place) where you can connect with people. In the service, this might have been the gym, the smoke pit, or the on-base pub. You need to find a new one.

• Hobby Shops: Whether it's a gaming store, a woodworking shop, or a jiu-jitsu gym, these places attract people with shared interests.
• Coffee Shops: Become a regular at a local spot. You'll start to recognize faces, and casual conversations can grow into friendships.
• Dog Parks: If you have a dog, the dog park is one of the easiest places to strike up a conversation. Your dogs will break the ice for you.

The key is consistency. Showing up to the same place regularly turns you from a stranger into a familiar face.

3. Become the "Salty Specialist" in a Civilian Context

You have years of experience in leadership, training, and mentoring. Don't let that go to waste. The fastest way to connect with people is to be of service to them.

• Coach a Youth Sports Team: Little League, soccer, you name it. Parents will be grateful, and you'll be back in a familiar role: leading a team.
• Volunteer at a School: Offer to help with a STEM club or a trade skills class. Your practical experience is invaluable.
• Lead a Community Project: See a problem in your neighborhood? A park that needs cleaning up? Take the initiative. Plan it like a mission and recruit your neighbors. They'll see you as a leader.

4. Leverage Your New Career

Your workplace is a natural source of potential friends, but it requires a different approach than in the military.

• Join the Company's Veteran ERG: Most large companies have an Employee Resource Group (ERG) for veterans. This is your instant tribe within the organization.
• Be the "Go-To" Person for Something: Are you good at Excel? Public speaking? Fixing things? Let it be known. When people come to you for help, it builds relationships.
• Say Yes to Lunch: When a coworker invites you to lunch, go. It's the civilian equivalent of a team-building exercise. Don't talk about work; ask them about their hobbies, their family, their weekend plans.

5. Reconnect with Your Family

This may sound obvious, but it's often overlooked. For years, your primary relationship was with your unit. Now, you have the time and emotional bandwidth to invest in your family.

• Schedule Family Time: Put "Date Night" or "Family Game Night" on your calendar and treat it with the same importance as a military appointment.
• Be a Present Parent/Spouse: When you're home, be home. Put the phone away. Engage in conversations. Your family is your most important fire team.

Building a new community takes time and effort. It won't happen overnight. But by being intentional and using these strategies, you can fill the silence and build a new squad that is just as meaningful as the one you left behind.